W-H-Y ???

Recently I've been asking myself a lot of why...A lot of things happened on me which I don't want to even accept about it..I've been thinking too many questions which I cant find a reason or an answer to those. Why it has to happen to me?? Is it a karma for what I've done in the past?? but wouldn't it too big for me to accept? It beyond my ability already.. I don't know should I be sad or happy...Happy at least I know about it, sad is because I feel bad, very bad, and this means I'm going to lose whatever I have now without me having a chance to fight it.

Why me?Why I have to be treated like this??Anyone can tell me which relationship is based and build without a lie?? Is every couple lie to each other?? Is it really because of don't wanna hurt each other so we chose to lie?? or it's just some reason to not face it??

When I found out about the truth, I wanted to just forget about it and keep it going between us, but it has been bothering me for quite sometime, I can't get over it and pretend nothing happened..I just can't do it..If i could choose, I would rather I don't know and just keep being a "傻瓜"..I think this one also because my brother keep scolding me Fool so I really a bit fool d (LOL)..

I've been struggling with myself, one side of mine can't accept it but the other side of mine rather to choose being the fool one, as I've been fooled for more than a year so it doesn't matter. I know by being with you, I've hurt a lot of people, and trust me when I said a lot is really a lot, without me even knowing it and purposely..At the end of the day, I hurt myself because I can't even pass through myself. I feel bad for what I've done all this long. If I knew all these from the beginning, I will NEVER came at the first place.

I wanted to tell you everything, but I just couldn't...1 side is because I don't know how to face it and I don't want to take away your dignity..Especially to those very sensitive issues..But sooner or later you will understand why I said all these and chose this decision..Today someone told me,
开心或伤心日子还是要过，所以我选择开开心心的过...I feel true also, the world won't stop just because you are sad...

I know that you sacrifce a lot of things and put them at risk also when you made any decision (or maybe not, but im sure you do think about my feeling)..If 1 people's tears can change many people's smiles, I think it's worth enough for everything..Honestly, I am not those like very great,and definately not the type who拿得起，放得下, but I wanna learn how to be 1, because my memory "card" only 16gb, I can only put all the happy things and there is no more space for the unhappy memories..If I say that I am not sad, it's definately a lie, but I know time heals, it's all a matter of time until I find a better person.

Last but not least, I hope you will understand 1 day and wish you ALL, all the best in your life...and for this 1 person, I can't tell you who you are, but I wanna apologize for taking away from you and although I don't wanna admit it, but you are a really good person. The only thing I will miss is my "xiao ke ai", so for the owners, how 300 or 400???LOL....



P/S: Wipe out your tears, and belive it or not time heals and by the time you healed the world is gonna be different.. =)